20 typical parents’ mistakes

We want the best for our children, but sometimes our good intentions only harm them. Family Psychotherapist Mike Liri compiled a list of common parental errors.

If you do not want to harm your children, you do not need to:

1.Give them too much freedom of choice

Parents often think that the more options the child will have


, the better. But in fact, children are literally choked in this sea of abundance.

2.Praise children for everything they do

Today, many children have fallen into praise like a drug. They will not move a finger if they will not wait for encouragement.

3.Try to make children happy

They have a different task – to learn how to look for their happiness themselves. You will not be able to make them happy with a strong -willed effort.


What does it lead to? Children begin to think that happiness consists in possessing. As a result, their life turns into a race for goals, the achievement of which never brings them satisfaction. And this can lead to addictions and obsessive states.

5.Overload children

A typical case – playing sports. Many parents mistakenly believe that constant employment will protect the child from problems. In fact, this often leads to burnout or aggressive behavior.

6.Think that the main thing is intellectual development

This is a great temptation for the parent – to convince the child that there is nothing more important than intellectual successes. But such children often become arrogant and consider surrounding fools. Who wants to be friends with them or at least communicate?

7.Consider that religious education will bring them the right values and protect them from all the bad

As soon as such a child encounters a manifestation of hypocrisy in parents or advertised spiritual leaders, the house of the house will quickly collapse.

8.Lock such topics as sex

The very thought that we can talk about sex is terrified by many parents, and they in every possible way protect the child from such conversations. As you can guess, this does not lead to anything good-there are times when 13-year-old girls are pregnant only to shock relatives.

9.Excessively criticize the child for mistakes

One of the common misconceptions is to think that exceptional exactingness makes a child better. Such children are encouraged to perfection in everything: starting from the appearance and ability to win the location of other people and ending with successes in sports and study. But if they fail, they think they are worth nothing. Such anger covers them that sometimes it comes to self -confusion and even suicide.

10.Shame, ignore, threaten

Never say and do not hint that you will not love a child if he is guilty. Some parents think that in this way they will be able to achieve obedience from him. But this is an imaginary victory, because the fear of being rejected in the child’s soul sets.

eleven.Load their responsibility

Often children are forced to be responsible for their brothers and sisters. Growing up, in most cases they lose their desire to continue the family, explaining this by the fact that they no longer want to engage in education.

12.Allow children to sit as much as you like at the TV and computer

You can continue the list – video games and smartphones are also from this series. Of course, total restrictions do not lead to good, but limitless access to entertainment is harmful to both the physical and psychological health of the child.

13.Do not let them get bored

There are parents who believe that children should be constantly occupied with different matters – if only they would not get bored in any case. But if adults will constantly intervene, then the child will not develop creativity and the ability to cope with boredom on their own.

14.Release children from responsibility for their actions

Some parents strive to save children from any experiences associated with their mistakes: say, they immediately buy a new toy instead of broken. Or if a teenager has problems with the law, they do everything to avoid responsibility. And then they wonder why the child does not value anything.

We need to understand: losses help us become wiser and on our own experience to figure out what you can and what can not be done.

15.Do not let them play “dangerous” games

For example, children from forest kindergartens, where it is customary to spend time in the open air and freely study the world around them, are much less likely to get sick and successfully cope with problems than those who visit ordinary kindergartens.

16.Do not ask children

Children feel loved and they have no problem with sleep, when parents are sincerely interested in how their day passed, and what is happening in their life.

17.Do not read books out loud

Of course, we are talking about younger children. When the baby is read, he has to sit calmly, not make noise and use the imagination. These skills will come in handy at school: it will not be so difficult for him to carefully listen to the teacher, and the imagination will allow him to develop creativity.

18.Too early to deprive the child’s nipples

There is an opinion that a nipple is a visible symbol of insecurity. Instead of trying to quickly wean a child from her, parents need to create an atmosphere of security. Then the need for a nipple will disappear by itself.


And then ask if the child wants to. An ancient program is sewn in us, which remembers the times when it was not so easy to gain access to food. Therefore, children, like most people, will not abandon another portion. Over time, their stomach will stretch and dosages of food behavior may develop.

20.Spank children

Bodily punishments do not work, only love works. Often, people who are brought up on the principle of “regret the rod – spoil the child” grow up angry, aggressive, false or intimidated.

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